Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

7.07.2009

What's been going on?

So yeah...my friend told me I should get 3 tiny dots tattooed on me...mi vida loca...she's retarded, but I love her anyway...

She (my friend) is right though...things have been CRAZY...most of it dealing with his ex...I can't even stress to you how psycho she (the ex) is...& stupid too...she got arrested last week...yes...ARRESTED...as in handcuffed & taken to jail...where she spent the night, cause no one would bail her out...& then she had to catch the bus home...probably a good 40 or so miles away...(mind you, we live on an island...40 miles is far away)...

She says she got a job at a bar...except she can't work there because she can't get a liquor license...& where she's claiming to be working is not the type of establishment that would hire someone who could not obtain a liquor license...so my friends & I speculate that she is shaking her ass & taking her clothes off for money...which she's done before & wouldn't surprise me that she'd go back to it...& there's nothing wrong with it...unless you're ashamed...which she obviously is...so it's either she's doing that...or something illegal...who knows?

Drama seems to follow her where ever she goes...I need to make a nickname for her...hmmmm...what shall it be? (think, think, think)...I dunno...I'll get back to this...

Anyhow...yeah...& there's a whole lotta other drama involved with her...can't even tell you...however...even though the hurricane...(hey! nickname!)...has been the source of much stress, the boyfriend & I have been fucken fantastic...we're due to leave for our trip to California in a week & 2 days...& I can't even tell you how excited I am...although we're visiting friends, it's just us...no kids...WOW...

We've also been spending a lot of time together, which is SO nice...going to the movies, dinner, lunch, beach, picnic...whatever we can!

Work...hah! Darth has been on a rampage lately...stomping, sighing...crying, dying...you name the negative action or emotion, she's done it or had it...it's annoying, yet funny...especially when I threw a bunch of stuff on her desk while she was out...I could tell when she came back cause I could hear her slamming it all over the place & muttering under her breath...needless to say, I was QUITE amused!

Other than that...work is busy...especially since they're worried about me being gone...oh well...I'll do what I can in the time I have, & if I don't get to it before I leave, someone else will have to do it or it'll get done when I get back...

As always, I'm sure there's been more that's been going on, but that's about all my worn out brain can recall at the moment...time to finish what I'm doing...

6.24.2009

Darth strikes again!

Oh.my.god...

Karma! What goes around, comes around...whatever!

There was some DRAMA up in here today...& while the office was tense...it was HILARIOUS!

Darth finally got some of what is coming to her! & I was a lucky fly on the wall to witness it all...

Life's good!

6.10.2009

...Day 3...

On Day 3...& I'm realizing that my days seem to be going by slowly...I think it's because I'm not having my afternoon dose of caffeine...I'm going through withdrawals...


But I will make it through...it's only a week...I'm almost halfway there...I'm sure I'll feel better as soon as I actually finish the week like I said I would...I'll feel accomplished...I hope.

In any case, I have been peeing a lot from all the damn water...& I don't know how I do this to myself every time, but I always end up in the stall with no toilet paper...it's like I know there's no toilet paper, but I'm just focused on peeing that I forget...until after I start doing my thing...I never learn...

Anyway, I can say that I'm getting itchy to cross SOMETHING off my list...I suppose I should have started with the easy things...or the things that I could've accomplished in a day or less...*sigh*...well...I think I will go tonight without TV...then, tomorrow I can cross it off my list...problem solved...

Well folks, I can't really think of anything else, as my mind is blank...blankety-blank...








PS...I'm still positive that I can do this...I'm just sleepy...so very sleepy...


5.30.2009

Human vs Roach

First off...I can't stand roaches...especially the big ones that FLY...I will freak out & practically walk a 10 mile radius around them if at all possible...I will not try to kill them because I don't like the crunchy sound it makes...just thinking about it, I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing on end...

YUCK!

No matter how clean your house is, every now & then, the occasional roach will get into the house...except it wasn't my house...it was a friend's...it was a casual social gathering...we were in the kitchen & she saw one crawling across the floor...she stopped dead in her tracks...I looked at her like she was a little crazy, until I followed her gaze to the floor...& there...was one of the biggest...brownest...creepiest roaches I had ever seen.

Her mouth opened to scream...& almost in competition, the roach opened it's wings, as if to mimick my friend & her gaping mouth...kind of like two animals squaring off in the wild...trying to see who will fold first.

My friend grabbed her Swiffer Wet Jet & stamped it on the roach...*CRUNCH*...I just stood there...not wanting to move...my past experiences with these nasty things is that they are strong...although ridiculous, I was waiting to see if that roach would show it's Superman strength, & lift the Swiffer off his body.

Naturally that did not happen...but we were both standing there...unsure of what to do...I almost thought of abandoning ship...leaving her there, standing with the mop in hand...as she had nothing to prop it against...I didn't leave her...as tempting as it was...

Instead, she said she heard that ordinary household cleaner will kill them...so I went to fetch her can under her bathroom sink...I gave her the can & took hold of the Swiffer handle...she crouched down & told me to slowly...slowly...move the mop off of the perpetrator...I took it off & she immediately sprayed the cleaner...& sprayed...& sprayed...
For a moment, we stood there...staring as it remained still...then...it spread it's wings again...& we both freaked out, screaming & jumping...she sprayed some more...& she actually used up the entire can...but it worked...I don't know if the cleaner was what actually killed it, or if it was death by drowning...but, it worked...& that's all that mattered, because I don't know what we would have done had it spread its wings & chased after us...

Needless to say, the men...who should've been in there to dispose of the pesky thing in the first place, only came in the end...as we were scooping up the corpse with 3 foot long cardboard & heading toward the bathroom, to give it a burial at sea...

We went back to the party, grabbed a beer, & toasted to our success...as ridiculous as our fear of roaches are...even though we know we are a million times bigger than them...in the end, woman triumphed...& now I know, when in need, a whole can of bathroom cleaner will do the trick...

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